Just another day at LAX; waiting in line to get screened and pushed through the metal arch of the detecting kind. After showing my ID to the impressively board TSA agent I noticed there were about a dozen preteen girls that must have been part of some sort of cheerleading squad. Either that or they were really enthusiastic about almost everything shiny while wearing eerily identical attire. I knew I had to make it to the “Arch” before they did or the wait would be extended to a point of a gnome crafted treadmill. Besides I’ll be stuck with the bluetoothed Texan and his over caffeinated aviatophobic wife – that much longer. They were entertaining at first but then the annoyance helicopter landed. It was time; I was released to go to my gate free of pink pony tails and suspended hyperactive neurosis - free at last…to wait in another line. The flight was smooth, a little turbulent during approach, I was thinking maybe the plane is afraid of landing. Then the mind wondered off probably due to the astounding nutrition two bags of peanuts and a shot of ginger ale brings. What if a plane was afraid to fly, how horrible would that be? So, it started to make sense – I think turbulence is caused when a plane realizes he or she is flying and then freaks out.
After stretching a bit I placed on the headphones leaned back all 4 1/2 degrees (thanks coach) and fell fast asleep. I had yet another onslaught of crazy dreams and subconsciously created worlds that swirled visions and mattress sale propaganda throughout my head. My own snoring woke me up like a fart in church – I quickly looked around like a prairie dog as if by exaggerating my awareness would soften the unorganized embarrassment. Ahhh alas, maybe no one heard, what time is it? Oh great, we are not even off the tarmac. The stewardess seemed too happy to alive, she smiled showing her outrageously white, perfectly squared Chiclet teeth. I could almost see an anime rogue glimmer spin off her smile into the sky making a metallic high pitch sound that echoed through the planes cabin. I can’t recall last time I was that startled and entertained at the same time.
We landed safely in New Orleans. For now I thought the adventure was behind me; I had NO idea what was going to happen next.
Until Next Time.